sloooobs

as much as i enjoy having a blog on which to rant about all the supposed insanity and injustice i experience in my life, i'm not actually a giant demon.  i think i roll with the punches much, much better than some people i know.  so, when i do get really aggravated, like truly enraged, i feel like it must really be justified (because i am the personification of justice itself, apparently).  anyway, today i'm riding the aggravation train because i got a parking ticket this afternoon and something about set me off.  to wit:

i deserved the ticket.  i didn't properly read the signs and i parked in a permit-only zone on my way to take the little boy i babysit to see his allergist.  so, my fault.  however, when i opened up the ticket's envelope, i was met with smears of tomato sauce and pieces of burnt cheese, not unlike the stuff someone would leave behind when eating a slice of pizza.  therefore, unless someone walking down a fully residential street in santa monica, eating a mid-day slice of pizza, saw the ticket on my windshield and decided to open it up and eat over it, only to replace it perfectly under my wiper, the guy who issued me the ticket was the one eating and unwittingly left me some scraps.  this really, really upsets me for two reasons:  1) as i've mentioned many times, i'm a hypochondriac, raised by the best, and have absolutely no desire to have to handle someone's leftover food (food that, for all i know, could have actually fallen out of said person's mouth), and 2) my number one pet peeve could be called "failure to realize that there are other people in the universe who do not want to be involved in your personal business."*  number 2 is perhaps very much related to number 1.

so, i've decided to take a page out of my great-aunt carole's handbook and write a letter to the city.  i know, i know, this seems insane.  and maybe it is, but i'm enjoying the prospect too much to stop now.  thus far in my note, i've described the situation and mentioned that i'm usually too easy-going to write a complaint, blah, blah, blah.  the ending is my favorite and i wanted to share it here:

"i have brothers and i work with kids, so i'm not easy to shock.  that said, when i receive paperwork from the city, i expect, at the very least, that it will be sanitary.  i feel so strongly that official paperwork should arrive in good condition that despite being very hungry, i'm waiting to eat with my hands until after i postmark this letter."

zing!

*this pet peeve can be extended to include: flipping one's hair onto surrounding strangers in lecture halls or public transportation, having loud cell phone conversations, playing your terrible music way too loud (thank you, girl upstairs!), spitting on the sidewalk, coughing/sneezing without covering your face, smacking your food/gum and now, eating like a slob whilst you issue a government form.