dodger bluez

as much as i love tina fey and as much as i believe i am liz lemon, 30 rock has been a little hit or miss these days.  having worked on a comedy paper for two years, i definitely understand the tendency for inside jokes to creep into the script, but we were writing mostly for our own amusement and 30 rock is broadcast nationally.  therefore, i've been a smidge disappointed lately, because most of the shows now play like they're transcribed from a delirious conversation the crew had when they were up too late.  however, a few weeks ago, "tgs hates women" premiered and it was by far one of the best episodes i've seen in a long time.  briefest possible summary: liz contends with a female guest writer who acts like a baby hooker.  baby voice, short shorts, cleavage explosion, the works.  here they are juxtaposed:

on the left, you have me ALL THE TIME.  on the right, you have the sum total of all the girls sitting behind us at the dodger game last night.

oh, the dodger game.  it began as a way for my dad, luke and i to make use of some extra tickets to opening day and ended with the bottom of my bag covered in spilled beer and peanut shells kicked over by some girls in stiletto boots and my father getting drunken, uninvited back rubs from the shit-faced blondes who were probably far too old to be giving strangers giggly massages in public places.

i have been called a prude for thinking this way, but honestly, i think it's just really, really pathetically sad to be an adult woman prancing around like a breathing sex toy.  (in addition, it's also insanely uncomfortable to watch your dad try to fend off the clawing acrylic nails of a woman whose guy friends make jokes about her making your dad's night.)  i'm sure that sounds super judgmental and i apologize, but i can't handle it.  

i feel the same way about the link between girls and pink.  is there no other way to define yourself as a person/woman than to bleach your hair, get weekly spray tans, upspeak like a moron and teach your daughters that they can't possibly play soccer if the ball isn't pink?  (seriously.  why is a pink soccer ball necessary?)  a mother in the row in front of us bought each of her two kids a foam dodgers bat (something that, if given to my brother sam and i as children, would have been used to beat the crap out of siblings and friends).  for her son, she bought a blue and white bat.  for her daughter, a pink and white one.  the dodger team colors are blue and white and yet for some reason, it was more important for the girl identify with something pink than with something legitimately associated with the team.

i'm terrified of having girls.