the final stretch

last night, i bailed on something i was really looking forward to because i became a nauseous mess after discovering the dog has fleas.  for some reason, this relatively minor (and totally fixable) issue triggered a full-blown freak out.  i'd been feeling sick with anxiety on and off all the day, but i managed to go meet people for a fabulous breakfast, clean up the house and study for a final before hitting a wall and absolutely losing it.  the fleas were the straw that broke the camel's back, i suppose.  not only because this week has been one insane disaster after another, but also because it is the second doggie health problem we've faced in seven days.  this week, she was diagnosed with spay incontinence, which means her hormone levels are so out of whack that she can't control her abdominal muscles (and was thus peeing everywhere she happened to fall asleep - like all over the couch, for instance).  she'll have to take regulatory pills for the rest of her life.  since late november when we adopted her, she has had ear infections in both ears, mange (requiring weekly injections at the vet's office), this permanent incontinence (which was at first diagnosed as a bladder infection, for which she has already taken weeks of pills) and now fleas.   she also came to us with crippling social anxiety, something we're just now starting to see improve.  so, add the whole slew of dog problems (and how much they impact luke) to my own wonderful medical experience, the accident that totaled my car, and the fact that i haven't been sleeping at all, and you have me worked up into such a state that finding fleas on our dog is the most devastating thing.  could we not have some new issue arise every day?  could i just have a weekend to sleep in and finish my work for this quarter?  what the hell.  i went to sleep at 8:45 pm last night, curled into a ball with mascara smeared across my face.

usually, i have an impervious hard candy coating that allows me to handle things rationally and quickly.  i'm all about solutions.  i tend not to wallow or be crazy or completely spin out.  occasionally, though, the world will get to me.  so, congratulations, universe.  well-played.

i'm gonna try to use today to complete the last two theory papers i need to write and then all i have to think about tomorrow is finishing up studying for a multiple choice exam.  i could be done with finals by tuesday!  perhaps the feeling of accomplishment will help level out this week from hell.