it's not only reasonable, it's essential.

if it wasn't glaringly obvious from the sheer terror in my blog voice for the last few weeks, i am hating figuring out my life.  i'm over my mid-twenties.  give me my settled thirties, please!  i would like to be, as jenna rink dreams in 13 going on 30, "30, flirty and thriving."

i've been bitching and moaning about this all over the 101 freeway.  my parents, my aunts, my grandparents, all of you people.  everyone knows.  i've made it clear.  and, despite the fact that no one has offered me millions of dollars, which is obviously why i'm talking about this all the time guys (it's getting embarrassing.  someone just read between the lines and hand over some cash), it's been nice to know that i'm not alone.

for instance, my dad is a pretty intense dude.  he's hilarious and loves fantastically horrible movies (the ringer starring johnny knoxville is a family fav), but in terms of what he has accomplished in his career, holy canoli he scares the bejesus out of me.  i think it really is just mostly that he's a trial lawyer and for some reason, that reads to me that he is made of steel.  i'd probably crap my pants if i had to cross-examine someone.  he's also been on tv (check it out.  i love how the tie matches his eyes.  so proud.).  i mean, wowzers.

ok, so the point: my dad, who my entire life has had all his shit together, told me a story recently about how my parents discovered they only had 44 cents in the bank one day when they were trying to buy diapers for my little brother and me.  granted, he was a lawyer by then and probably remedied that situation as soon as his next paycheck came in, but it was nice to know that even my very established parents had times of insanity (and they had kids!  at least i don't have kids!).  perhaps it's normal.  i guess it is normal.  why is it normal that your early adulthood has to blow so hard?

and, on the flip side of loving that apparently everyone stutter-starts their lives, i'm reading the life histories of several world-famous turn of the century scientists for class and this book exalts these people, especially the ones with "no university degrees," for managing to rise into the ranks of respected academics by the time they were 24 (or, as i interpret it, my age.  it's all about me.).  you know how these brilliant minds were able to achieve so much with such ease?  it was 1926.  and approximately all their parents knew the head of the smithsonian.  that's how.  stop making me feel bad, ann gibbons.  it was a different time!