Sunday, January 22, 2012

sad face.

i'm about to begin the third week of winter quarter, so i'm having to work even harder at staying positive and present.  the past year and a half has taught me that the least healthy thing i can be doing right now is try to see into the future, because that makes me panic about where i'll work, how i'll make this worth it, when i'll finally be able to contribute financially to our lives, when we'll be able to buy a house, etc. etc. etc.  obsessing over this makes me feel guilty about going back to school, because i feel like it put our lives on hold and incurred new debt for essentially no reason.  i have to remind myself that i'm only 25 and, regardless of how horrible this limbo period feels, it's completely acceptable for me to still be working on my life.  still, though, bllllargh.  i'm over it.

luke and i have spent the weekend lazing around, mostly.  i caught up on all the reading i've been avoiding for a while and luke is currently still trying to jam all our hundreds of dvds into genre-coordinated cases.  i've been in a bit of a fog for the last few days - just really not feeling up to being a big ball of sunshine.  nothing is particularly miserable.  i'm just ready for the next phase, i guess, and hopeful that this glorious next phase will include some clarity and a paycheck.

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