things that annoy me (part 1, i'm sure)

call me a purist, but there are a few things about the modern world that make me very upset.  and, because i've had to experience each of these things almost constantly lately, i've decided to rant about them here, where no one can get hurt.  they are, in no certain order:

1) motion-censor bathroom appliances.  if there ever comes a day when i am not physically able to flush a toilet, turn on a faucet, operate a soap dispenser or procure myself some towels, i should not be allowed to be alone in a public restroom.  however, until that day comes, i would greatly appreciate being granted the (now infrequent) privilege of manually getting rid of my own waste and washing my own hands without having to manically wave my hands or jump around inside a bathroom stall in order to activate a motion detector that may or may not actually detect motion.  as a child of the "AIM" generation, i understand and really celebrate the use of technology to make life easier.  sadly, a robotic bathroom is pretty much only convenient in theory.  in practice, it means that crap doesn't get flushed and hands don't get washed, a disgusting fact that greatly outweighs the combined genius of all those censors.

2) hd-tv.  people like to applaud high definition as if the ability to see the pimple on a newscaster or the sweat on a red-faced real-life witness is a good thing - a triumph of engineering.  the way i see it, though, people are being tricked into spending a ton of money on televisions that provide images not unlike those my parents used to capture on their handheld video-cameras when they were young parents and way into home videos.  a high definition television (or t.v. station) is, it seems to me, a trussed-up home video machine, the success of which aggravates me.

3) and, finally, twitter (which, interestingly enough, was around for about four years before inexplicably exploding into the media like a brangelina baby).  i hate twitter, for reasons that may be surprising considering i have a blog - i think twitter is incredibly narcissistic.  why would anyone care what you're doing every fifteen minutes?  i understand that blogs and Facebook profiles and all of that are, essentially, just as narcissistic, but at least those things allow people opportunities to be clever and creative.  there's only so much someone can pack into the 140 characters per post allowed by twitter, and often, it's not too great.  also, to "twitter" is just vaguely sexual enough that, being a puritan, i cannot handle it.