sarcastic sass face

so, good news: i did not get violently ill.  instead, i grew a persistent, obnoxious cough, which means i think i have the black lung, pop.  cough, cough.  typically, i'd be nervous about having such a terrible, lingering respiratory issue, but i'm trying not to let my hypochondria spin out of control all the time these days.  therefore, i will track whether or not i recover in time and if i don't, i will suck it up and go to a doctor.*

also, it's the weekend!  after weeks and weeks of working at the school, i still relish being able to leave on friday and have two whole days to myself, like most normal working people.  when i was working in the "baby store," i constantly got jerked around, and i learned to expect my hours to be changed weekly, daily or even throughout a single work day (the store was independently owned, which allowed my boss more freedom to jamble her employees' lives).  now, though, one of the great pleasures of my life is to have an entire saturday off.

one of the kids at school has started calling me a "sarcastic sass face," mostly because i used my incredible wit several times recently to snap him out of a fruit roll-up induced playground rage.  i don't mind my new nickname at all, and i think i actually (not so) secretly love it.  it's pretty amazing what taunting me with this name does to him, too.  he's almost never sad or surly or upset anymore because he's almost constantly jumping around in my field of vision singing "sass face," which works the double magic of making my job easier and melting my heart.

lastly, i've spent the last two hours listening to country music blasting down from the apartment above us and beer-fueled belches coming from our new next-door neighbors' patio.  i hate what this apartment complex has become.  it used to be all quiet single loner types and it's suddenly gotten really aggressively nascar.

*among other things, graduating from college made me realize just how good a perpetual freak-out like me had it when i had a student health center at my beck and call.  even with insurance, doctor bills are insane - meaning no unnecessary visits for me.

elementary schools are terrible cesspools

i am fighting off a doozy of a cold right now - i'm popping cold-eeze every three hours as directed and am sending all my positive energy into the universe.  i'm refusing to get all-out sick and disgusting because i was just sick two weeks ago.  this illness extravaganza has graced me with its presence because i'm working in a kindergarten classroom, where sick children wipe their noses with their hands and put their pencils in their mouths.  if i'm to trust all the people i work with at the school, all this exposure to disease will eventually make my immune system so resilient that i will basically be made of steel.  until then, though, i advise you to buy lots of stock in zinc supplements, because i'll be tearing through packages like a madwoman.

illnesses aside, i love my job.  the kids, while crazy and stubborn and generally inclined not to listen to me, are adorable and clever and, most importantly, five.  i love children, which i think might actually make it a little more difficult for me in class.  i'm too nice and silly sometimes, which means when i try to get them to focus on their work with my "stern teacher voice," they don't take me seriously.  

it's still fun.

i need good recipes!

luke and i ordered in brazilian food tonight, marking the seventeen millionth time this month we've had take-out instead of finding something delicious to eat here at home.  this must stop, partially because it's expensive and mostly because it's disgusting to be eating so much restaurant food.  i've also gotten a little wary about giving over the responsibility for my food preparation to dirty strangers i don't know.  my newfound inability to trust restaurants has been growing for a while, and culminated last night, when luke and i went to dinner with my grandparents at a relatively well-known establishment on wilshire blvd.  being vegetarians, luke and i have a pretty hard time finding things on menus, so it's always exciting when a restaurant offers lots of delicious, meat-free options.  luke immediately sprang for the gardenburger, which, when it came to the table, was topped with roasted bell pepper and what appeared to be some type of mushroom.  after tasting the "mushroom," luke determined it was definitely some kind of sea-dwelling creature, like an oyster.  after conferring with the waiter, we discovered that this place regularly garnishes their veggie patties with anchovies.  that was about the stupidest thing i've heard in a long time, and i hear a lot of stupid things.

also, this afternoon, baja* put chicken in my veggie burrito.  gross.

it's time to start making my own food.

*i haven't had a home-cooked meal in a very, very long time.

jury duty!

this day was a little bit unreal.  let the backstorying commence:

i was called for jury duty this week, and, because i'm still registered to vote in the county where i grew up, going to jury duty meant driving an hour to the courthouse.  so, instead of choosing to allot one single day to the adventure, i opted to call the "hall of justice" every evening to see if my jury group number would be called for the next day.  i made my decision and sent in my paperwork reflecting said decision and have been calling every night this week, reveling in how high my number was and, therefore, how low my chances were of actually having to go in.  fast forward to 7:45 am this morning, when i remembered that i hadn't called the jury info hotline last night.  i called immediately, all the while still believing that my astronomically high jury group number would save me.  alas, it did not.  my number was up.  i had fifteen minutes to be at a court house 60 miles away.

i flew out of the house, hair and (yesterday's) makeup all crazed, and i was so panicked about how late i was going to be that my hands shook so badly i could barely lock the front door.  around 8:45 am, i'd made it to the courthouse and through the metal detectors and to the jury information window.  the woman working at the window took one look at me and at my jury summons and the pathetic "i just came all the way from los angeles" look on my face that she agreed to check me in despite the fact that they'd already shut down for the day, due to too many people arriving on time.  after looking up my name in order to do me this gigantic favor, she noticed in my file, i was labeled as excused from service for living outside the county.  long, long, terrible story short, whoever processed the form i sent in noticed my new address, and, as this address is in los angeles county, this person excused me from duty, without contacting me in any way to let me know they'd done it.  this morning, when i was told that not only was i not getting arrested for being late but also that i was able to leave, i didn't care at all that i'd essentially driven all the way up there for no reason.  however, had i been on time and not so freaked out, i'm sure i would have been moderately aggravated.

 as it is, though, i still have to go to the dmv and change my address, which means i can also maybe take a new license picture to replace the orangutan photo that was taken seven years ago.

ma - mooth

i feel insanely dirty right now.  i was at the tar pits today, working on freeing a complete mammoth lower jaw from its plaster + dirt + asphalt prison, and as removing the dirt required brushing dust into the air, i am covered in a fine layer of filth.  my hair feels very much like it used to when i'd go camping - like every single strand of it is perfectly coated with gross.  also, i smell like a fossil.  also also, i have a fat blister on my thumb from hacking away at the rock-hard grime with a dental pick all day long, despite having worn hardcore gloves.  however, i'm totally ok with it, because i was one of the very few people to see the largest, most complete mammoth jaw ever found at the tar pits completely clean and raw for the first time.

definitely worth the shower.

treading

this weekend, our treadmill was finally deemed fit for use, as luke cleaned off all the many layers of dust its insides had accumulated in the five years since someone used it.  it has always been a dream of mine to have a treadmill in my house, because i felt that its absolute convenience would produce huge amounts of guilt should i decide not to exercise, and guilt is an emotion much more powerful for me than laziness.  if i had a treadmill in my house, i would run all the time!  and be in shape again!  and not run a ten minute mile (like i did tonight)!  so, imagine how awful it's been for me to have something shaped like a treadmill, something that whispered the promise of a treadmill, in the apartment for months, without being able to use it for fear that the dirty old gears would combust.  that's all done now, thankfully.  i had my (severely disappointing) run tonight and feel accomplished, as i always do after i actually move around a little bit.  my ultimate goal is the elusive six minute mile, which i ran as a high school freshman when i was still running track.  however, even if that never happens, i will still carry with me always how hysterical it was to watch penny (below)

actually love the treadmill.  she learned how to walk on it all by herself, out of sheer curiosity and genius.

god, people are going to hate talking to me when i have my own children.  i'm already way too obnoxious about these cats.

i planned a potluck!

my brain is fried.  totally.  just from working three consecutive days at the children's clothing store.  i've wrapped countless christmas/hanukkah/birthday presents and burned countless more name-specific sing-along CDs.  the manager of the store* can often to be caustic and demeaning, but i'll give her one thing - she can work there ten hours a day, six days a week and still put together sentences, which is requiring far too much energy for me at the moment.

due to this inability to think coherently (and because the heels of my feet are screaming at me for forcing them to stand in terrible flats for nine hours today), luke and i ordered in thai food and watched "national lampoon's christmas vacation" when i finally got home from work.  i'm trying to become better at enjoying the time i have to myself because i've been pretty miserable across the board lately - i hated staying home all day by myself when i wasn't working, and i'm not particularly fond of working where i do.  it surprises me that i've gotten so bad at making the best of my situation, because usually, i'm overwhelmingly cheery (to which all my more serious friends can attest).  i realized today that since i've committed to working at the store until just before christmas, i should knock off the attitude, and i spearheaded the planning of a store potluck to be held on tuesday.  everyone at work is bringing something delicious, and so we'll have lots of sugary things to gorge on whenever we sneak into the storage/break room to get chapstick or water or just five seconds of silence.  i'm so proud of myself; i feel like mary poppins.  i don't know why i didn't think of organizing a feast long ago.

*this same manager has a terrible cold and spent the whole day sneezing and coughing up phlegm into a kleenex and touching doorknobs and keyboards and all the other various communal spaces.  i can most definitely relate to feeling horrible (as you might have noticed, i'm a bit of a whiner), but now i'm so upset about being exposed to such a vicious virus that i'm going to be downing cold-eeze lozenges until the massive doses of zinc fry off my taste buds.